Settle a debate

Posted in letting go, Love, relationships, self discovery on August 9, 2017 by La Femme

My friend and I have been having a conversation and I need you, my loyal readers, to help us settle it.

The query is:

“When you are in love with someone, especially if they do not reciprocate, when do you know it is time to let go?”

 

I am of the “love them beyond the point of reason” camp

My friend says “if they don’t appreciate what they have, let it go.”

What say you? (also, I wish I knew how to put a poll on here since no one seems to know how to comment. LOL)

precious resource

Posted in Dating, Love, self discovery on August 8, 2017 by La Femme

The problem with being a person who gives it all when they love is that if  you don’t have someone that gives their all back, you can very quickly end up very empty.

It takes a long time to find enough of yourself to start filling the void, and it is taking me even longer to realize that I am a precious resource.

 

 

 

This is me

Posted in Body issues, self discovery, self-esteem, truth on August 4, 2017 by La Femme

I :

  • am a hot mess
  • am over weight
  • am emotional
  • get moody
  • get suspicious when something good happens, but still I
  • am too trusting, and
  • tend to leap before I look
  • will give my life for the people I love
  • am sick of myself some days
  • am a gamer
  • love football
  • dance when the mood hits me where ever that may be
  • love to travel
  • talk to much
  • drool when I sleep
  • talk in my sleep
  • am whiny when I am sick, tired, or sad
  • am not a good housekeeper
  • do not always make good choices
  • if treated right,  will love you like no other
  • if hurt, will be a thing of nightmares
  • am a musician
  • an 80’s kid
  • a 90’s girl
  • do not laugh much
  • cry too much

I am a hot mess wrapped in an over weight wrapper that loves too deeply, feels too deeply and even though there are days when I am sick of myself, I am who I am.

 

 

Timid

Posted in self discovery, self-esteem on July 27, 2017 by La Femme

Sometimes I sit on the edge and watch the water when I want to dive in.

Sometimes I dive in without noticing there is no water.

Why am I so timid?

Why do I feel like the rabbit caught in the brambles, eyes darting, heart racing… unsure whether the hand is coming in to set me free or for the kill.

Why am I so willing to give and so afraid to take?

 

 

 

Really

Posted in people, Reality, Uncategorized on July 20, 2017 by La Femme

This thing on?  Even when I pose a question I all I get is crickets. My ex used to laugh, because I knew how many reads I had, and maybe I should just never look at the stats. But it’s nice to know that people are actually out there… somewhere. You can comment though, I don’t bite… usually.

 

I have started rehearsals for our third run of Rocky Horror and I am trying to finish up my Summer II classes. I shouldn’t have taken both of these classes. My special topics class isn’t bad, but this Design Management class is probably going to kill me. I AM NOT BUSINESS MINDED…. LIKE AT ALL. And my professor was supposed to email and help me 3 days ago and I still haven’t heard anything. 😦

Also, this song is all the things I would like to say

“But I know that it’s my emotions going in for the kill.”

Posted in amends, Reality, relationships, Uncategorized on July 18, 2017 by La Femme

I have been a little gun-shy about writing here. The truth is… I hurt someone who I love dearly with this little, inconsequential blog. So now I’m scared. Scared to write. Scared to express all the stuff I keep stuffed inside. Because I don’t want to hurt people with my words.

Listening to Halsey’s Now or Never today I got to thinking of the one and only time I have made that statement (at least in the context in which she means).  It was in college, but not with someone from college. The answer, it turns out, was never. But that song got me thinking… is that really ever a question/statement that needs to be posed?

 

Beware the intense need… and the mixed metaphors

Posted in attraction, relationships, self discovery, truth on June 27, 2017 by La Femme

Once upon a time, over a decade ago, I compared someone’s kissed to that of a person dying of thirst.  It was the only thing I could think of… or that it was like someone who had been lost at sea.

The deep powerful need of it scared me a little, to be perfectly honest. Being kissed like that… was powerful. The situation was complicated to say the least and the need was not really for me, but for connection. For genuine connection and affection.

At the time I thought it was crazy but after being set adrift in my own sea, I can understand it a little. The power of a need to both set you on fire and drown you.

Need is a dangerous thing. We like to act like need, want, and desire are clear entities but can you cleanly see where they end and begin at all times? If you can, you are doing better that I am.

Want

 

Need

 

Desire

 

Want to turn right

NEED to turn left

Desire sucks