My oh me

Posted in friends, humor, Love, relationships on September 19, 2017 by La Femme

I hate when I try to be funny… tongue-in-cheek if you will… and I epic fail.

Any post – blog, facebook, IG, etc. – are never indicative of everything I am thinking or feeling. They are simply a snapshot of a mood or thought in that moment.

Usually, especially with my blog, it is something that is on my mind that I need to put down in order to process it completely

Like earlier…

I didn’t literally mean that I wanted someone to spend the night with me.

I didn’t literally mean that I didn’t understand parts of why I am not in a relationship.

I am not stupid, I do know that there may be people interested that I am oblivious to.

I also know that there are people that are interested that I am trepidatious of getting into anything with for a variety of reasons.

There is also my whole second post if you missed it… LOL

It meant that I have friends that I am happy for, but I don’t know how they managed to find their perfect match…

was it at the library? the coffee shop? the mall? a concert? the bar?

How did you know? Was it instant, like the big bang? Or more like evolution?

 

 

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A Valid Question

Posted in Love, relationships, truth on September 19, 2017 by La Femme

A friend posed a valid response to my last post…. that in order to find a relationship I have to be open  to one.

I understand this point of view.

The problem is that I have kept a secret fire burning for someone for the better part of 2 years. But recently I have had to wonder if it is to protect myself. If I have allowed myself to want this one particular person because I know that they will never want me back. That maybe I have nurtured those feelings because I know the hurt will be manageable.

Not to say that there are not genuine feelings, but that I have been reluctant to walk away from them.

That I have tethered myself to someone that will never hurt me because they will never love me.

I have told myself that the reason that I haven’t given up is because I know that he does care… somewhere in there… that one day he will wake up and be like “what have I been doing?” But maybe it’s me that will wake up and be like “WTF?!”

Have I been missing an entire world by giving my heart to someone who doesn’t even know they have it?

 

Marriage – A little humor, a little truth

Posted in Dating, Divorce, Love, relationships on September 19, 2017 by La Femme

So over the past few weekends several people I know have gotten married, and I am truly so happy for all of them and hope that they find bliss

BUT there is a part of me that is like “WTF?!” Some of these people have been divorced not much longer than I have… How have they already found someone that wants to spend their life with them?! I haven’t even found someone that wants to spend the night with me!

Then I look around and see some single moms that have never found anyone…. years and years after their divorces and I am starting to think that I am more likely to end up the crazy cat lady than the happily ever afters.

Some would say it’s because I want it too much, which I don’t think is true, but that’s because only I know how I feel on the inside.

Some would say that it is because I am hard to love. This is probably closer to the truth. I am dramatic, dynamic, loud, quiet, emotional, cold, active, a home body, a free spirit, very traditional….. and sometimes I am all of these (and so many more) all at once.

I feel things deeply. I fall without thinking of the consequences. I trust. There are times I cry and don’t know why. I want held. I want left alone. I want to play video games. I want to go on a 4 hour geocaching adventure, with the dogs, even though I know it’s a bad idea.

So to all my recently married/remarried friends I truly wish you the best… but what is your secret?

Like Leeloo

Posted in Love, self discovery, Uncategorized on September 14, 2017 by La Femme

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I feel like Leeloo.

Not that I’m a hot as hell, supreme being, bad ass. Although I would say that I am fierce, strong, not always great at English… LOL

I would die to protect life.

I would die to protect love.

But how do we protect something that we do not know.

I am strong. I am fierce. But without love, I will falter. I am not strong enough on my own to survive the ultimate battle.

Leeloo says: ” I don’t know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.”

In this life is there truly no other use for me than to protect my children? Maybe.

Maybe.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me.”  https://open.spotify.com/track/2KVwlelhxKUy8LVV6JypH3

 

Biological Witchcraft

Posted in Lies, logic, Love on September 12, 2017 by La Femme

Thoughts for the day

“romantic love” is a trick of biology to ensure the continuation of the species.

Since I have already fulfilled my biological imperative and procreated, I am of the assertion that this particular biological function can go F*** itself. The only possible purpose it could serve at this point is that of trickery:

Meaning that it serves to trick a lonely soul into believing that they still serve any other purpose than ensuring the survival of the next generation.

Settle a debate

Posted in letting go, Love, relationships, self discovery on August 9, 2017 by La Femme

My friend and I have been having a conversation and I need you, my loyal readers, to help us settle it.

The query is:

“When you are in love with someone, especially if they do not reciprocate, when do you know it is time to let go?”

 

I am of the “love them beyond the point of reason” camp

My friend says “if they don’t appreciate what they have, let it go.”

What say you? (also, I wish I knew how to put a poll on here since no one seems to know how to comment. LOL)

precious resource

Posted in Dating, Love, self discovery on August 8, 2017 by La Femme

The problem with being a person who gives it all when they love is that if  you don’t have someone that gives their all back, you can very quickly end up very empty.

It takes a long time to find enough of yourself to start filling the void, and it is taking me even longer to realize that I am a precious resource.