Marriage – A little humor, a little truth

Posted in Dating, Divorce, Love, relationships on September 19, 2017 by La Femme

So over the past few weekends several people I know have gotten married, and I am truly so happy for all of them and hope that they find bliss

BUT there is a part of me that is like “WTF?!” Some of these people have been divorced not much longer than I have… How have they already found someone that wants to spend their life with them?! I haven’t even found someone that wants to spend the night with me!

Then I look around and see some single moms that have never found anyone…. years and years after their divorces and I am starting to think that I am more likely to end up the crazy cat lady than the happily ever afters.

Some would say it’s because I want it too much, which I don’t think is true, but that’s because only I know how I feel on the inside.

Some would say that it is because I am hard to love. This is probably closer to the truth. I am dramatic, dynamic, loud, quiet, emotional, cold, active, a home body, a free spirit, very traditional….. and sometimes I am all of these (and so many more) all at once.

I feel things deeply. I fall without thinking of the consequences. I trust. There are times I cry and don’t know why. I want held. I want left alone. I want to play video games. I want to go on a 4 hour geocaching adventure, with the dogs, even though I know it’s a bad idea.

So to all my recently married/remarried friends I truly wish you the best… but what is your secret?

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Like Leeloo

Posted in Love, self discovery, Uncategorized on September 14, 2017 by La Femme

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I feel like Leeloo.

Not that I’m a hot as hell, supreme being, bad ass. Although I would say that I am fierce, strong, not always great at English… LOL

I would die to protect life.

I would die to protect love.

But how do we protect something that we do not know.

I am strong. I am fierce. But without love, I will falter. I am not strong enough on my own to survive the ultimate battle.

Leeloo says: ” I don’t know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.”

In this life is there truly no other use for me than to protect my children? Maybe.

Maybe.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me.”  https://open.spotify.com/track/2KVwlelhxKUy8LVV6JypH3

 

Biological Witchcraft

Posted in Lies, logic, Love on September 12, 2017 by La Femme

Thoughts for the day

“romantic love” is a trick of biology to ensure the continuation of the species.

Since I have already fulfilled my biological imperative and procreated, I am of the assertion that this particular biological function can go F*** itself. The only possible purpose it could serve at this point is that of trickery:

Meaning that it serves to trick a lonely soul into believing that they still serve any other purpose than ensuring the survival of the next generation.

Settle a debate

Posted in letting go, Love, relationships, self discovery on August 9, 2017 by La Femme

My friend and I have been having a conversation and I need you, my loyal readers, to help us settle it.

The query is:

“When you are in love with someone, especially if they do not reciprocate, when do you know it is time to let go?”

 

I am of the “love them beyond the point of reason” camp

My friend says “if they don’t appreciate what they have, let it go.”

What say you? (also, I wish I knew how to put a poll on here since no one seems to know how to comment. LOL)

precious resource

Posted in Dating, Love, self discovery on August 8, 2017 by La Femme

The problem with being a person who gives it all when they love is that if  you don’t have someone that gives their all back, you can very quickly end up very empty.

It takes a long time to find enough of yourself to start filling the void, and it is taking me even longer to realize that I am a precious resource.

 

 

 

This is me

Posted in Body issues, self discovery, self-esteem, truth on August 4, 2017 by La Femme

I :

  • am a hot mess
  • am over weight
  • am emotional
  • get moody
  • get suspicious when something good happens, but still I
  • am too trusting, and
  • tend to leap before I look
  • will give my life for the people I love
  • am sick of myself some days
  • am a gamer
  • love football
  • dance when the mood hits me where ever that may be
  • love to travel
  • talk to much
  • drool when I sleep
  • talk in my sleep
  • am whiny when I am sick, tired, or sad
  • am not a good housekeeper
  • do not always make good choices
  • if treated right,  will love you like no other
  • if hurt, will be a thing of nightmares
  • am a musician
  • an 80’s kid
  • a 90’s girl
  • do not laugh much
  • cry too much

I am a hot mess wrapped in an over weight wrapper that loves too deeply, feels too deeply and even though there are days when I am sick of myself, I am who I am.

 

 

Timid

Posted in self discovery, self-esteem on July 27, 2017 by La Femme

Sometimes I sit on the edge and watch the water when I want to dive in.

Sometimes I dive in without noticing there is no water.

Why am I so timid?

Why do I feel like the rabbit caught in the brambles, eyes darting, heart racing… unsure whether the hand is coming in to set me free or for the kill.

Why am I so willing to give and so afraid to take?