Self-Worth… So Unsexy

Why do we as humans, especially females, allow others judgement to determine our self-worth? Why is that if we deem someone worthy of our affection and get rejected we believe that that is a reflection of our desirability?

I allowed my husband’s infidelity with a 22-year-old to kill my confidence. Obviously I’m not attractive if he has to go and find someone half his age.

Then the very next person that I let myself feel anything for… rejected. But not just rejected, rejected for spending time with sweaty men… Yes, my friends had a field day with that one. Ok, it’s a consensus…. I get it… I no longer have ANY “groove”

So about a month ago I went and listened to a band some friends are in and then hung out afterwards… what the fuck was I thinking? Hanging out with a bunch of 20 somethings? Sure they’re going to notice your fat ass…. UGH. I love them, but I was largely invisible at the death trap of a bar we went to except for the few locals that looked old enough to be my father, and my one very drunk friend who kept giving me encouragement.

Why do I let all of these little rejections mean so much.

 

All I want to do is listen to Alanis

 

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