The Naked Truth

In getting naked I learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I realized exactly what my fears were, and in that process… let them go (mostly, I’m not perfect, ok?) In confessing this, I know that my family will eventually get a hold of this, and someone will feel the nosey need to tell my mom, who will then shame me into oblivion, but I don’t care.

I can not even begin to describe the inner peace found lying there, listening to the sound of paper and charcoal and feeling not an ounce of criticism directed towards me. It was transcendent.

In college there was a night… a completely sober night. .. where somehow everyone at the gathering of friends ended up naked. No sex, no wierdness. And we didn’t think so damn hard about it. I used to love my body. Yes of course I complained, but deep down… I thought it was magical. Now my body scares me. The human body has been over sexualized, in my opinion. It shouldn’t be something that I am ashamed of or afraid of. It is mine, it is me. But it is not all of me. It is not even the best parts. I just want to love my body again.

I have made the mistake of trying to find that love of my body from external sources in the past, and I can’t do that again and won’t. I was always comfortable with myself, no matter what state of dress. How can I ever expect anyone else to be if I am not.

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