The Cost of Caring AKA Why I want to be Vulcan

To anyone NOT familiar:

Vulcans are a fictional extraterrestrial humanoid species in the Star Trek franchise who originate from the planet Vulcan. In the various Star Trek television series and movies, they are noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic with no interference from emotion

This is not to suggest that they live without emotion, but that they do not allow it to be a factor in their daily lives or decisions.

I wish that there was a medication, that would allow for a certain level of emotion, such as that for my children, parents, family, to survive but to kill all other. It hasn’t been invented yet, medication is kind of an all or nothing deal.

I want to be able to not care. Because do you know what caring gets you? Absolutely nothing. It gets you wondering what happened to the last 8 years of your life, knowing that you will never be the person you were, and knowing that the only things you will ever be able to show for your existence are your children who you have to explain to at least once a week why daddy can’t come live with you again. It gets you fat, over thirty and wondering how you are going to afford to take care of your children without a miracle. It gives you being the mom in the grocery store line, that shops at the oddest hours possible because she can’t survive the embarrassment that she qualifies for WIC so that she can make sure she has milk for her children.

And caring about anyone again will just lead to the crushing realization that the problem was, in fact, you all along.




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