An affair

An affair can be life altering. And while temptation is part of being human, a vow is a vow.

The truth is though, when he accused me several months ago of being sexually attracted to someone else, he wasn’t wrong. The difference was that I was not, nor will I ever sleep with that person. Or even let them know that I’m attracted to them. I made a promise nearly 8 years ago to be faithful, and while no one is perfect I have spent the great majority of that time trying to uphold that promise.

Here is something I wrote in response the pain

Blonde, but not the true kind… the mousey dirty brown kind.

Pert tits and buck teeth staring up at me from the screen.

She is sprawled on the back drop of MY bed; the one that I have had since high school, that had been my solice, my haven.

Now, I want to burn it.

From the sheets I bought him for father’s day last year clear down the the headboard she was bound to.

My tits sag to remind me of the poor comparison and my cesarean scar suddenly itches. Yes, I may be a poor body comparison, but at least I can close my lips over my teeth.

That was cruel.

I can no longer care.

I found the picture of her naked ass that I caught a glimpse of on my husband’s phone some months ago. He tried to say it was me but wouldn’t let me see it to know…the lack of ink would have been telling.

I crave the limnist’s sharp tang.

Something sharp and dark to forever trap my pain.

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