Something new…

I struggle, today, for indifference.

Because even in my nostalgia fueled haze,

I know that Love is part of the same coin as Hate.

I can hear you in the barren trees of winter.

The sun traces the shape of a body that I had hoped was long forgotten.

The shadow of wings in flight trace caresses across my skin,

in this battle that never ends.

How do you fight a ghost?

How do you kill a memory?

Of these things I cannot speak for fear of being misunderstood.

I will continue to bury you as deeply as I can,

in hopes that your face will not rise, unbidden, again.

 

There is a feeling like being punched in the stomach that hits,

I hear your voice saying my name so clearly that I wonder…

are you thinking of me in this moment?

Do you sometimes start crying because you can hear me echo

down through the years like a ghost? A shadow? A memory lost?

If I reach out far enough, will I find you waiting there for me?

Sometime I follow the winding path of the wolf and wonder

will it lead to closure or damnation at the end?

 

I struggle, today, for indifference,

but all I can achieve is hate.

Even it has lost it’s edge and bled into ache.

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